Brendan’s paper:
-I
thought the lead was really good. It was very interesting and brought me into
the paper very well.
-Could
have developed the intro lead a little bit more to make it a more effective
hook.
-I found
all of the examples that you found very interesting. Especially the large part
about the 3D printing.
-I think
you could add a bit more of a comprehensive conclusion to wrap up the paper and
your thoughts on 3D printing.
-Transitions
are good
Kelly’s paper:
-I think
you had a great first sentence that sparked a ton of interest to keep reading
but after the first sentence you went right into the heart of the paper. I
think you could do a little more with the lead.
-I think
the first paragraph can be broken up to be smaller paragraphs that are more
specific to one sub-topic,
-You did
a good job of simply explaining the cost benefits of making and selling meth.
Spencer’s paper:
-Good
lead
-good
data to support points
-Needs a
better conclusion to either wrap up the paper or expand on the future
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